Every Friday night is Celebrate Recovery night. The night begins with awesome praise and worship. We sang a song by the David Crowder Band –How He Loves Me. A verse stood out to me.
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
I could not tell you the day it happened. I don’t know the day when my past begin to fade into..well the past. My childhood abuse and growing up without a father at home resulted in an obsessive need for love. In it’s pursuit, I made many mistakes resulting in more pain. In the end I didn’t know who I was and had no confidence in my decision making ability.
Since becoming a part of Celebrate Recovery I learned not to put my faith in myself but in God. It was liberating to learn that if I put my faith in the work of Jesus, I was not excluded from salvation based on my many sins. In acknowledging my own sinfulness, it was possible to forgive very selfish and destructive acts done to me. Even later it made it possible to forgive the selfish and destructive acts I had done.
I could not tell you the day it happened, but one day my afflictions were eclipsed by the glory of a loving God. Previously my past pain and sinfulness defined me. Now I’m defined by who God says I am. Once you’ve felt the glory of a forgiving God, a patient God, a merciful God and a just God everything else fades away. The pain and feeling of loss I thought I would carry to my grave is gone. Everything that came before brought me to this day in February on my sofa telling you that God heals and He redeems.